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View Full Version : Interesting Well Formed And Written Haunt Reviews



Chris
11-11-2008, 12:34 PM
I can across these on the web, thought I'd post here, kind of an interesting format, what do you think?

The Mortuary

The Mortuary is the anti-thesis to the previously-reviewed Camber of Horrors. Where the CoH is a low-budget, high-heart affair, The Mortuary is a high-budget, low-heart one.

You can tell from the second you drive by the two-story buildings with its large columns and lighted facade that you entering into a haunt that has spent a great deal of money on their setup. As you tour through their winding corridors and narrow hallways, that belief is reaffirmed with their high-end animatronics and decorations.

This haunt cost a lot of money and it shows. However, money can not buy a great haunted house experience, only the toys to build it with. The question for The Mortuary isn’t whether they have neat stuff, but what they did with it.

It’s a tough question with a rather complicated answer.

Some Opening Caveats

I have to start out this review with a pair of caveats. I went to The Mortuary on November 8, the final day it was to be open for the 2008 season. This changed the experience in two important ways.

First, it means that the actors are tired and drained from a long season, thus, I have to give them a bit of a break. Second, it was a “flashlight” night, where the only light was from fingerlights worn by the patrons, thus making it easier to scare and longer to walk through.

However, it also means that I was unable to get as close of a look at many of the parts that I wanted, so I have to score this review based upon the experience that I had and what I did see.

As you read through the rest of this review, keep those things in mind.

What It Is

The Mortuary is something of a controversial haunt in the city. Housed in an actual mortuary, complete with its own graveyard, the building itself is supposedly haunted by real ghosts (though I suspect any ghosts would have long since been annoyed into leaving early in the season).

The haunt has been protested by many in its area and, supposedly, has a tenuous relationship with the city itself. Much of this is rumor, but it fits what I know about New Orleans.

The haunt is a small-group free-roam haunt, at least on the night we went, but it supposedly does use the conga-line style on busier nights. The cost of going through the haunt is $20, slightly over the $18 that most people pay for House of Shock and it takes about 12 minutes to go through, at least on flashlight night.

Beyond its history and backround it is a fairly straightforward attraction sending customers roaming from scene to scene with actors scaring customer and modest use of props and animatronics.

The Good

For the most part, the haunt itself looks great. Starting in waiting area fit for Home and Gardens magazine and then winding through a series of scenes that range from pirates to mummies to crazed doctors.

The props are great, the scenes are well designed and the attention to detail throughout is great. Though there are a few places that seemed oddly bare, the actual sections of the haunt were built masterfully and there was lots to look at and do.

The haunt itself was very atmospheric and only broke its illusion a few times in the walkthrough. Though there were still a few places I could see behind the scenes without trying, obvious mistakes were kept to a minimum and, overall, it was disorienting and creepy.

All in all, though it was a short walkthrough, it felt like a lot longer and made for an overall satisfying experience.

What Didn’t Work

Though the haunt itself was, overall, fairly solid, there was a lot in the execution I found fault in.

First, the wait in line to go in the haunt was excruciating. Though we were there on a relatively slow night by all accounts, we waited over 40 minutes to go in. Though they sell VIP passes that let you skip the line for ten dollars more, the tactic, to me, seems to be both greedy and disrespectful to paying customers that purchased regular tickets.

Second, the $30 VIP ticket price seemed especially egregious when the $20 price tag for regular tickets still felt like too much. Though they have the right to charge more than CoH, it is not worth twice the amount. When consider that House of Shock is less money (with coupon) and comes with a stage show, side show and a longer walkthrough, it seems like an outright rip off.

However, the walkthrough might have been longer if it hadn’t been for the fact that the actors in the haunt were constantly trying to rush the crowds through. After spending $20 and waiting in line for nearly an hour, you were hurried through the haunt, yelled at if you stopped to look at anything for longer than a second. In part because of this, large parts of the haunt are still a blur.

But the actors and staff seemed to be the weakest link. Though I have to cut them a large break since it was their last night at the end of a long season, it definitely seemed as if they were both short staffed and as if the ones that were there were just phoning it in. A few actors did great jobs, but many simply did nothing other than stand there, and it seemed security outnumbered costumed actors.

Once again, perhaps different on another night, but it really hurt the experience when I went through.

Bottom Line

There is a lot to like about this haunt. The attention to detail is great and the haunt itself does a good job with atmosphere and general spookiness. However, insanely-long wait times and queue-jumping VIPs are a prelude to a rushed and, all in all, unmemorable haunt.

A few points do stick out in my mind, such as the beautiful seductresses in the chain link fence room and the weak chainsaw scare at the end but most of it blurs together quickly.

All in all, his is another haunt trying to be the House of Shock but with a higher price tag, shorter walkthrough and weaker actors. It’s a good haunt, but not $20 and 40-minute wait good.

If you’re into the ultra-high-end haunts with big budget props, go to either the House of Shock or head to Baton Rouge and the 13th Gate. It you like lower-budget haunts with lots of heart, head to the CoH.

There are simply better deals for your haunt time and money to be found.

Rating

7/10

Note: I am loathe to do ratings on reviews in general because it can be impossible sum up a complex series of opinions in a number. This is especially true with haunted attractions as your enjoyment of the haunt will depend almost exclusively on what it is you seek. Your mileage will always vary.

Location

The Mortuary is located at 4200 Canal Blvd. near North Clairborne Ave.

Chamber of Horrors

For better or worse, the New Orleans haunt scene is dominated by the House of Shock. Though it is great to have an internationally-recognized haunt in the city, it brought with it the high ticket prices and conga-line style walkthrough that sours many on the haunt experience.

With no Chinchuba’s, Blaine Kern’s or Scream Factory this year, The House of Shock and The Mortuary are the only two professional haunts in the metro area with House of Shock being by far the best known. This has left a strange void of inexpensive and creative haunts that span the gap between home haunters and high-end professional establishments.

Fortunately, just outside the city in LaPlace, there is a smaller, lesser-known haunt called the Chamber of Horrors that sits in that gap nicely. Though clearly a professional haunt, it is not the big-budget movie set style you see elsewhere in the city. It is a middle of the road haunt that is half the price of its competitors.

But is the Chamber of Horrors worth the trip? It really depends on the type of haunt that you want.

What It Is

The Chamber of Horrors makes it clear on their site that they are a professional haunt and don’t rely on actors jumping out at you. Instead, the haunt features a variety of animitronics, automated scares and effects.

The haunt is a free-roam style, meaning that you are not guided through the haunt at all, and patrons go through it in small groups. Most I saw went in in groups of four or smaller. The entire time we went through the haunt, we did not see another group of patrons or have any problems bumping into other groups. However, the night we went the place was not particularly crowded.

Still, going through the haunt took roughly 10-15 minutes, making it a shorter one than many of its competitors, but that time will change depending on how scared you get and how you respond to the fear (bolt or freeze).

All in all, it is a pretty straightforward haunted attraction, sitting a niche that, right now, is not being effectively filled in the New Orleans area.

What Worked

Though the haunt itself doesn’t try to be one of the big budget affairs, there is clearly a great deal of attention to detail as you go through the attraction. Some of the rooms could have easily competed with its big-budget brothers in terms of realism. Also, the exterior of the attraction was very creepy looking and shows a great deal of craftsmanship, it did a great job setting up the expectations for what was inside.

Overall, the haunt does a very good job. It avoids nearly all of the worst cliches and has a great feel throughout. It is a very creepy attraction and it makes excellent use of dead space and timing to get some very good startles. It manages to be very atmospheric in nature and integrate a great deal of variety of scenes, using both indoor and outdoor elements and transitioning between them very elegantly.

The haunt uses a lot of animatronics, including many that are considered among the best in the industry, but does so with good restraint. Though they are front and center most of the haunt and I am not terribly fond of them in general, in this haunt are mixed well with other scares and startles. For the most part, the animatronics are not there to scare, but to entertain and fill in space between bigger startles.

Though the walkthrough is fairly short, it ends at what seems like a good time. The attraction does not wear out itself welcome. When you reach the end you feel as if you got your money’s worth, aided by the fact that ticket prices are only ten dollars (though you can donate blood and get in for free), but also that you are ready to move on. It is just about the perfect length.

However, there were a few minor problems that seemed to take away from the haunt a bit. Fortunately though, most can be resolved very easily and none are so serious as to warrant skipping the event.

What Didn’t Work

The biggest problem The Chamber of Horrors had was a strange lack of human actors. Throughout the entire haunt, I had perhaps 3 or 4 interactions with humans. Though the actors were talented and inventive, they were few and far between, making it feel as if you were roaming through an empty house. Though, on one hand, that increases the anxiety, on the other it means a few potential great scares were missed.

What is unclear is whether or not this was an issue with that night specifically or if it is by design. However, judging from their site it seems to be the latter.

The second problem is that, though the overall attention to detail was great, there were some places where the building seemed to have taken some abuse. In places it was possible, without trying, to see into the behind-the-scenes areas of the haunt. These are understandable problems that are actually very common, but here they were amplified by how well-made many of the rooms were.

Finally, I struggled to find the place when going to visit it. Not being familiar with the LaPlace area, it took two GPS units to get us close enough to see the exterior. Though the Chamber is located directly on Airline Highway, for whatever reason, all of my instructions and maps had it much closer to 310 than it was and the map on the Web site was not very helpful.

All in all though, these should not be deal-breaking problems, especially if you are already in the LaPlace area. If you’re interested in a good haunted house that runs on creativity and not extra money, the Chamber of Horrors is a great choice.

Bottom Line

Most cities the size of New Orleans have several small haunts similar to this one in spirit, though most are not nearly as well done. The Chamber of Horrors is well worth both the price and the trip, especially for those that are tired of the House of Shock-style experience (Note: I have not been to the Mortuary yet, that will be a later review).

Right now it is a very solid and enjoyable attraction though, with a few tweaks, it could be a true gem. But even with its relatively minor flaws, I highly recommend visiting it. It is a haunt that manages to be both scary enough for experienced haunt goers but not so overdone that those who are easily frightened should shy away.

This is haunt that, for the most part, manages to be the right size, right amount of fright and right price. The only people that will likely be disappointed are people that demand the movie-set experience the higher-end haunts in the area offer.

All in all, you can’t ask for a better haunting deal.

Rating

8/10

Note: I am loathe to do ratings on reviews in general because it can be impossible sum up a complex series of opinions in a number. This is especially true with haunted attractions as your enjoyment of the haunt will depend almost exclusively on what it is you seek. Your mileage will always vary.

Location

The Chamber of Horrors is located at 702 E Airline Hwy. If you are coming from the city, take 310 and exit Airline heading toward Norco. Drive across the Bonnet Carré Spillway and it will be on the left.

These reviews were written by Jonathan Bailey on his blog site intelegantsolutions.com

Skelterbet
11-18-2008, 03:04 PM
Honestly, I think these follow a stellar format and are written very professionally.

That said, I don't think it would work too well for Haunted Denver. Haunted Denver gives short reviews from multiple reviewers, so someone looking at them can see several points of views about a Haunt and can make an informed decision. It is fast and to the point. I think this works very well.

The reviews above are more like something you'd see from a movie critic. There is usually only one review per film that is published in the individual paper, written from that paper's resident critic.

I don't think Haunted Denver should have a resident critic. We all love or hate the movie critics, and we don't read much from the ones we hate, so having a resident critic is counter-productive. The way the reviews are displayed currently, I don't think the critics should write long reviews. Reading through an in-depth review is great. Reading through 6+? Not so great.

Luv2BScared
11-18-2008, 08:32 PM
I agree Skelter. Truth be known, our reviews get skimmed over at best. To write 20-ish reviews in this format, while very good, only to have them skimmed over would truthfully be a waste of time in my opinion.

Chris
11-18-2008, 08:54 PM
Ok naysayers!

Before anyone jumps to conclusions, I found the review format interesting, and until it was just brought up, I wasn't saying that the reviews should be changed all together, or changed to one critic. I was just pointing out what I thought to be informative and well written.

Now that I think about it, what if there was more of a format to the critic reviews, I particularly liked the what it is, what worked, and what didn't work parts. This could be an interesting way for the "skimmers" to get the basics without reading an entire review. Just a thought, but a good point is being brought up, if the typical user of HD doesn't read the reviews all the way through...

Anyway, food for thought.

Chris

Luv2BScared
11-19-2008, 08:15 PM
It's a format that could work for reviews provided they were summarized as far as the "What it is, What worked, What didn't work, Bottom line" portions. What worked and what didn't work is really just a pretier version of Pros and Cons that we do now, so that would be easy to incorporate. Actually, in thinking about it more, it is just our reviews in an organized format. What it is, is the basic description of a haunt that we do now....bottom line is the overal summary of the haunt. It woul dbe no issue to incorporate the whole thing.

Skelterbet
11-22-2008, 10:56 AM
Now you've got me thinking about this. Chris, I think you're on to something.

Currently, the reviews have three sections:

Review - Which is the free-form text of what the critic has to say about the Haunt. This could be a short paragraph or several paragraphs.
Pros - A very short list of what was good. Does not go into detail.
Cons - A very short list of what was bad. Does not go into detail.

Depending on the Critic, the Pros and Cons might be discussed in detail in the Review section, but it just as easily might not be discussed.

While this works, I find myself liking the idea of the other format better. Modified a bit, I think it could work well for Haunted Denver.

What It Is A one or two paragraph description of the Haunt's theme and/or selling point.
What Worked A one or two paragraph description of the great things about the Haunt.
What Didn't Work A one or two paragraph description of things the Haunt could improve on next time.
Bottom Line The Critic's opinion (sort of the thumbs up or thumbs down bit). Could be something like "If you can only see one Haunt this year, make it this one.", or "While the props and actors are not super, the enthusiasm the Haunt shows makes it a fun experience for all.", or even "I've seen High School Haunts that are more fun for less money. Don't be upset if you miss it.".

If the Critics try to keep it to one paragraph, or two at the most, the reviews would be quick, easy, and should be informative enough. Skimmers tend to look for specific information. The Pros and Cons are probably what they want to see more than the Review. Switching to this format and keeping it constrained to one or two paragraphs gives the Skimmers a better idea of what they are in for. I might be a little off-base here.


All of that said, at heart I am a person who likes in-depth reviews. I just don't see it working for Haunted Denver the way it is set up now. So, as another idea (one that I admit is unlikely to be used because it is labor intensive for the Critics), Haunted Denver could do this:

Use the new format above as 'Quick Reviews' that is displays all of the Critics. At the end of each review, add a link to that Critic's full review, which then goes in-depth about the Haunt, like the reviews that you posted originally. Haunted Denver could also add a Critics section that the Readers can click on to see all of an individual Critics in-depth reviews. That way, if the Readers decide they like a certain Critic, they have the option of reading just that Critic's reviews.

Luv2BScared
11-22-2008, 09:42 PM
I can feel the carpal tunnel already!! hehehhehehe